Saturday, July 05, 2008

Universities in Malaysia to offer new course

Kuala Lumpur - July 2008: One year after the infamous court case of Altantuya Shaaribu, who was brutally murdered and her remains blown up with explosives, several universities in Malaysia has announced that they are going to capitalize on the creative resources of the country and offer a course in Explosive Arts and Creative Homicide.

A spokesperson for one of the universities detailed the courses in an attempt to woo new students said, "In terms of talents in using explosives and the amount of untapped ideas in ways to kill a person, Malaysia is one of the premiers in the world", he continued, "If we let these resources go to wast, (pause) it would be crime."

Addressing the subject on whether the courses would influence the public in the notion that the country does not care about high profile murder cases, the spokesperson replied, "In between blowing up a person with C-4s, and chopping up one's husband and placing it in the refrigerator in a house that is being defaulted, well I guess the issue should already be established in the Malaysian public's mind".

After detailing the course guides, the Creative Homicide course fashions a very special way of assessing the capabilities of the students by having them do a practical in lieu of a regular final exam. High fliers would be able to come up with completely new methods in killing a person, such as grinding up a victim in a human size blending machine, or maybe feeding a person to a tank of hungry mice. The projects will be judged based on novelty, gore and hilarity.

The universities are also trying to get one of the renowned politicians in the country to give a special guest lecture to the incoming class to start them off in the right direction. Quote, "it would be very influential, since it shows that even a country's leader would be able to spend time and effort coming up with smart ways to annihilate a fellow human. After all, he is a figure that Malaysians ought to follow."

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About this blog

A lot of stuff about what I think, and not what I am about. Which is good, because I would be able to make fun of Notre Dame, Wisconsin, Penn State, and discuss on our futility against Ohio State. (But Woo Shoelace!)

I still think the word "god" should not be capitalized, because like oxygen or air or universe, it's an entity, and is not specific or special in its meaning.